I'm a dweller on the threshold

Yesterday, something happened that rocked my family to its core. Something so shocking that even 24 hours later, I can't stop thinking about it.

My dad shaved his beard.

Dad before:


Dad after:


!!!!!

My dad's had that beard for 33 years. My mom's never seen him without it! He had it done at his barbershop and then he came to where I work to surprise me, and indeed I was so surprised that I didn't recognize him. Thought process: "Hey, that guy is wearing a Brandeis shirt, I should ask him if he knows anyone that went to Brandeis! Actually, he looks sort of familiar. OH MY GOD DAD SHAVED HIS BEARD!"

I still cannot get over it. It's like my life is an episode of The Twilight Zone and he's actually my dad's evil, clean-shaven twin brother.

Other things that happened this weekend: I drank three-quarters of an enormous $11 peach margarita and got a little drunk at a Mexican restaurant in Chelsea. I bought four more cupcakes at Magnolia, because a trip to Chelsea mandates a trip to Magnolia even when it's raining. I walked over a subway grate and the wind blew my skirt up, Marilyn Monroe-style. I bought Godiva chocolates and candy from Dylan's Candy Bar at the mall. I watched When Harry Met Sally snuggled up with my girls and realized how thoroughly I've memorized the script to that movie. I slept over at Marissa's house, something I haven't done in a really long time, and I had a nightmare that I was jogging through the Gardens and someone grabbed me from behind. I woke up screaming, "No! No!" to Hannah shaking me awake. I don't think I've ever shouted in my sleep before.

But nothing compares to the shock of Beardless Dad.