Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Why I run

Earlier today, I wrote about how my ice skating class has helped me realize why I love running so much. Incidentally, tonight I came across a little essay I wrote about "why I run" when I was trying to insert myself into a publicity campaign for last summer's New York City Half Marathon. So I thought I would share!

“Hurry up! She’s cooooooming!”

This last word disappears into a frenzy of whirling arms and legs that spiral frantically around the track while heads anxiously turn to look behind us. The year is 1997, and I am a freshman in a high school gym class that takes itself, in my opinion, far too seriously. Our teachers are incredibly fit and possess the stunning athletic prowess that I both long for and painfully lack. When they run with us on the outdoor track -- which they do, three days a week, in every kind of weather -- we are expected to keep up with them. When they lap us -- which they do, three days a week, in every kind of weather -- we lose points. And if we fail this gym class, we suffer the most terrible fate imaginable: we have to take it again.

I hated gym. I hated every second of the time we spend running on the dreaded track -- or worse, when it was raining, up and down the stairs of our school. As soon as I could, I signed myself up for bowling gym instead. Finally, blessedly, I was free of running forever.

Or so I thought. In my first year of college, I was surprised and a little dismayed to discover that I faintly missed the feeling of pushing my body farther than I thought possible, of quizzing my classmates on their history facts while we puffed and panted our way through those infamous runs. Secretly, I took to running a mile here and there around the university’s hilly campus at night, and I found that the solitary nature of running suited me better than the loud, sweaty crush of the exercise room at the gym. But I wasn’t a runner, I reminded myself sternly; I was just someone who preferred the outdoors to the elliptical machine.

Then I encountered Trisha Meili -- a woman better known to the public merely as “the Central Park jogger.” In 1989, Ms. Meili was jogging in Central Park when she was attacked and brutally beaten. Doctors expected her to die, but she survived a severe brain injury -- and then ran the 1995 New York City Marathon in just over four and a half hours.

When I read I Am the Central Park Jogger, I was incredibly moved by Ms. Meili’s courage and determination. Improbably, something took root within me that I couldn’t expel or explain.

It was the urge to run a marathon.

The only things I had going for me were my dedication and my copy of The Non-Runner’s Guide to Marathon Training. Family, friends and classmates regarded me with a mixture of skepticism and awe. But the more I ran, the less room I had in my life for doubt and anxiety. As I trained, I found myself slipping out of my dorm room before the sun was up to run fourteen or sixteen or eighteen miles at a time. And as the marathon neared, I realized I didn’t recognize the girl whose reflection flashed by me as I jogged past store windows: She had become a runner.

It took me five hours, but I ran every step of my first marathon; running without stopping was a discipline I’d learned well in that freshman gym class. (Incidentally, if you’ve never seen anyone burst into tears from sheer joy, you’ve never seen a 5-hour marathon runner at the finish line.) I was unbelievably proud of what I had accomplished. Running had taken root within me -- and it had transformed my life.

We are all running for something. I run because I still have something to prove to my high school gym teachers, and to myself. I run because all it takes is some Dri-Fit shirts, a good pair of sneakers and a phenomenal dose of determination. I run so I can reward myself with Gatorade and a long shower. I run because there is strength inside me I never knew about until I hit the road for the first time. I run for Trisha Meili and every other female runner who paved the way for me. I run because I like knowing that my legs can take me wherever I want to go -- and I don’t stop until I reach the finish line.

1 comment:

dianne said...

Aw, this is nice. I remember when you were training and Dena thought it was a riot. And I remember when you finished! Yay!